Negative Space #005

It's good to be reminded of death.

The Passing of Time

Ever since the birth of my daughter, I’ve begun to see the world differently. Not only photographically, but my awareness of the passing of time has become more acute. In my experience, and I’m sure those of you who have children can relate, watching a child grow is like an astronaut watching the world turn slowly from space. The astronaut never really noticed it while down below the atmosphere, but when above where gravity ceases to exist, the astronaut sees just how fast a day goes by and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. He’s forced to enjoy it. And trust me, it’s a beautiful thing to witness.

It’s something I’ve not only witnessed in my little trio of a family, but other family members, friends, and even strangers from afar. I see little moments that are beautiful because of how quick they fade. A moment where it seems like you were the sole witness and if you were to pass from this earth it would be lost forever. But it’s a moment only you know is beautiful at the time, the subject won’t know the beauty in it until later on in life when they too long for a familiar gravitational pull of a distant planet from a space station.

It’s in these moments that you realize you’re looking through a little air tight window watching the earth spin a thousand miles per hour.

It’s Good to be Reminded of Death

As a sophomore in high school I remember getting my driver’s license and going on my first solo drive. I remember it was warm outside and I had the windows rolled down. I remember where I was going and the route I took to get there. I remember feeling a sense of freedom that I never felt before, almost like I was doing something wrong. I thought back to when I used to drive down Burnley School Road as a child sitting in my grandad’s lap thinking that I was the one doing most of the driving.

What I remember most though is a thought that I had on that first car ride. It’s a thought that I had often and still have to this day. It’s where I think to myself, “One day when I’m eighty years old laying in bed at night I’m gonna look back and remember this moment and remember how it felt.” Who knows if I’ll be blessed with eighty years on this planet but I don’t have to be eighty years old to lay in bed at night and remember my younger days.

But in these two types of moments, both the fleeting and the memorable, although somewhat different, actually have more in common than you think. Both of these types of moments are unable to exist on their own. They must be accompanied by either the conscious or subconscious reminder of death.

It’s good to be reminded of death.

Without the reminder of death can we truly enjoy the tiny moments? Or the big ones? I would argue no. The more we are aware of our inevitable decay the more we can enjoy the life leading up to it. It teaches us to savor each moment as if it was our last.

In the TV show, The Good Place the main characters die and go to what’s called “the good place”. Come to find out, they are actually being tortured in “the bad place” that’s disguised as the good place. The show is about their journey to actually work their way up to the good place and escape from the bad place. Once they actually achieve getting to the real good place, they arrive to see everyone is sad and sick of giving in to their own desires for eternity. The main characters come up with a plan that gives the people in the good place a way out. An exit out of the good place that turns them into dust for eternity essentially ending their spiritual life for good. As soon as that becomes an option everyone starts to actually enjoy the good place for what it actually is.

See, just the presence in the back of their minds of becoming space dust for the rest of eternity made them start to enjoy every moment they had in the good place. Now, I personally don’t believe in this type of afterlife, and if you’re curious about what I do believe, please message me and we can chat. After all, a lot of what I’m writing is informed by that.

But what does this have to do with photography and does this have other implications on how we go about living the creative aspects our lives?

Don’t chase something that’s already dead.

Some of what I’m saying may be interpreted in the wrong way and may come across as a “live in the now because tomorrow doesn’t matter” mentality. Although I’m all for enjoying the moment, tomorrow 100% matters and the kind of life we live matters. I think with so many things grabbing for our attention we often forget that we aren’t immortal. And when something hooks our attention that seems worthy of it or appealing, we chase after it feeling indestructible. I’m guilty of this every day.

Whether it’s a persona we are trying to achieve or one we are trying to keep, trying to keep up with creating things for instagram or social media, staying on the algorithm’s good side, or worrying about someone’s opinion of you, we all have things that we have to discern whether or not they are worthy of our attention. What those things are for each person are different. But what I can say is this:

The dead live among the dead.

Dead things have no life to give. And when dead things are the ones pulling for our attention they will slowly kill our passions, dreams, and creativity. I can say with confidence that the things I listed above are dead things that have pulled for my attention and won at various points in my life.

So don’t live among the dead. They are like leaches that are sucking the blood out of the things that give life. Rather than focusing on the persona you’re trying to keep or become, focus on the sincerity of your character. Rather than believing the fear you’re gonna get left behind creatively, look to the past and see how far you’ve come. Rather than trying to cater to someone’s opinion, cultivate the view you have of yourself.

July’s Print

So why did I choose this photo as this month’s print?

Cause when’s the last time you climbed up a tree or a big rock? Or felt the bark rub your hands raw? Or had dirt underneath your fingernails from playing outside too long? Or scraped your knee on a rock?

It was my 27th birthday earlier this month. So it’s been a good bit since the last time I climbed a tree. Looking back at this moment, this was one of those moments where I was the astronaut in the space station. It wasn’t long ago when I was that child going up that tree, and looking at this photo reminded me just how fast time has gone by. Looking at the photograph now, I’m reminded to live among the living and not seek the dead things. Because it won’t be long before the child in this photo is all grown up.

The inevitable presence of death means there is a life to be lived. So I would encourage you to live it.

Cheers,

Andrew

P.S.

Here are a few songs that I listened to while writing this month’s post.